Things happen for a reason.

Last night, I read something on my Facebook news feed, one of the most wonderful thing a girlfriend can tell her boyfriend. It was an album of their first year anniversary as boyfriend-girlfriend and has a description that says:

I remember our weekend in Bantayan,

I forced you to wake up 5am just to see the sunrise,

I told you I was going to go regardless,

Sunrise?? All we saw were heavy dark clouds and the sun was hiding.

Because although I said it didn't matter to me,

I really wanted us to spend every second on the island,

I wanted to share the sunset, the sunrise even the rain,

and thankfully, we enjoyed every minute of it.

Because of course we had such a wonderful time, 

and we have done so ever since day 1,

and I love you more than ever,

and I love you in every single way.

Happy 1st birthday to us,

For you, I thank the Lord above,

You've given me hope inspiration and truth,

because of you, I feel never-ending joy.

I was teary eyed when I read and saw the photos. They look so happy together.

 

I am happy that somehow I was one of the reasons they found each other. If not for me, the guy wouldn't realize his worth.

I was his ex-girlfriend. His first "real" love. But I was never in love with him. I was hurt by someone else before him. And I've made sure I would not be in love anymore unless the guy would love me head over heels. Indeed, he was the right guy. So, I took him as a boyfriend. Or rather, I used him to move on.

 

He never knew I wasn't in love. The least that I could do was to make him feel loved in return. 

Because he gave me everything. LITERALLY.

One call from me, he'd be on my doorstep.

One request from me, he'd have his hands all ready for me.

One word from me, he'd be on his knees.

But I was fed up pretending. There was no one else involved. I just didn't love him at all.

I broke his heart. I didn't even feel guilty at all when I broke up with him. I thought to myself we were young and he could easily move on.

He never hated me. He begged for me to go back. And I just told him the most common and lousy alibi:

"It's not about you. It's about me. I have my own issues that I have to fix myself. I need to do it on my own. When I'll be ready, I'll be back."

But I knew deep down inside me, there was no turning back. It was the end of my pretense.

But he was still there... even at the middle of the night. He checked on me from time to time. And most of the time when I needed something, he'd be more than willing to be there for me. LITERALLY.

Then weeks after, he tried to ask me if I was ready to have him back. And I felt so bad...so bad when I told him, "No, I can't. I am no longer in love with you. I just wanna be alone for now."

And then he asked me back with his most sincere voice, "Have you ever loved me before?"

I had to stick to my own lies, "Yes,of course. I have loved you. You made me happy. And I thank you for that. But we just have to move on separately."

Months after I left him, I felt guilty whenever I think about what I did. But I knew I had to and there was no way to do it but break his heart.

And I never heard from him anymore until he added me up on Facebook last month.

We belong to the same batch in college and classmates back in elementary. So, we have a group in Facebook for the entire batch (elementary) which we are both members of.

I guess it was a sign that he already forgave and forgot what happened when he added me up on Facebook though we haven't talked online yet.

And then I saw who his girlfriend is. The same girl who was there for him when I left him... the same girl who asked me why I left him... the same girl he helped moved on from her past.

And I am happy. Happy for them, that things turned out so nice after all. 

And most especially, I AM HAPPY AND CONTENTED WITH MY LIFE AND PARTNER.

My ex-boyfriend and his girlfriend have found their happiness in each other's comfort.

I have found my life and my true love.

We're all happy.